He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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