Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
