Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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