Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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