So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Randomize
