U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
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