i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
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