She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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