I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You need Xanax blowdarts
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
