I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
