Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
