I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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