Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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