dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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