His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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