There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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