I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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