Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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