Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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