You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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