I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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