perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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