Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
