the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
