If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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