I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
