dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize
