I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
