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Please don't use social media to get back at me.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
