Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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