once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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