Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
