id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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