I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize