I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize