Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
