we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize