He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize