i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
