I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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