Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
