Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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