I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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