Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
