HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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