alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
