dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
