She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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