oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
