It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
