I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
