I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
