So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
