I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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