Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
