When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
