does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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