We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
