she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
