Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
