Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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