apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
