the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize