So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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