Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
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Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
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I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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