If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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