I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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