found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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