tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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